“Today I went to walk near the sea … It was great.
I like the touch of sand on my feet. Following
the curves of the waves, I walked there for a long time …”

“Dear, today I walked in piles of leaves on the
ground, in the forest. They were already dampened
by dews and rains. I like the sound of the leaves
when I was walking … here, listen.”

 

 

She doesn’t talk, just keeps walking. He is ahead of her,
looking back from time to time.

Since she was a child, she entered the forest with her
family this time every year. The walk was long. Her father
usually led in the front, her uncles and cousins followed.
She was at the end of the line with her mother most of
the time. She liked to look down while she was walking:
under and around her shoes, messy grass losing green,
fallen leaves, (no flowers anymore) but all kinds of leaves
in hundreds of colors … stones breaking out from the
leaves too, stones covered with green moss, stones with
green moss and flame colored leaves … flame colored
leaves falling everywhere …

Once there was a fire. When she smelled the smoke and
looked up, the flames were already approaching them.
She didn’t remember how they ran down the mountain
and escaped the fire in the end, but she recalled that
when the fire blocked her way, her mother immediately
jumped into the fire and grabbed her. She was just seven
or eight at that time. She can only remember, being
carried on her mother’s back, she smelled her mother’s
burnt hair.

 

 

 

 

“I dreamed of you yesterday. There aren’t many
details since I forgot most of them, but we
were walking, as if travelling at a place with lots
of rivers. At one moment we couldn’t find a way
to cross, but suddenly you pointed faraway
and gently said, ‘Look, there is a bridge’. And
then I awoke.”

 

 

Dream:

She is standing at a crossroad in the street. In the distance,
at the other side of the street, she sees huge crowds of people
walking. Everyone is moving in one direction, slowly …
In their hands, they are holding boards and banners. She sees
them shouting something at the same time, but she cannot
hear. Words are written on the boards but she cannot read –
she is kept still (or she doesn’t want to move). She stands
there looking at them passing from far away … There seems
to be a glow of fire.

 

 

Now an image unfolds: a skin with scars, dampened by
water, whatever it may be (dews and rains, rivers or the sea);
a soft arm with visible veins; a fingertip stained with a
dot of blue pigment; and a floating hair (in the air or in the water) …

The image was slowly burnt away …

 

 

For a long time she knew that she wanted to do this, and today
it is the time. She remembers the route: first they will go deep
into the forests,and then they will start to climb up the mountain.
The road isn’t steepat all but it’s long and winding. After several
hours they will reach a little plain on top of the mountain. That’s
where her family would usually take breaks. She remembers
upon reaching the top, her father alwaysheld her up and pointed
at the horizon at the farthest distance for her, there, that’s the
destination.

They already started to walk before dawn, but there are still
many hoursahead. He is carrying a lute on his back. They have
to arrive there before sunset.

 

 

“Today’s light doesn’t change much … the dawn can
be as long as you want …”

“… But I think dim light suits us, like 6 in the morning
or 6 in the evening … at that time we were not fully
awake. I looked outside the window in a daze. You were
leaning your head on my shoulder … 6 in the evening,
we were both worn out … gradually falling asleep,
gazing at the sun sinking slowly, we sank …”

 

 

 

Dream:

There is a bridge.

She finally finds herself standing at that bridge: she looks down,
what’s below her feet is no longer a river, but those large crowds of
people passing below her (if dreams have memory, she would notice
it’s the same crowd). They are wearing clothes in different bright
colors. They are still holding signs, boards and banners and still
walking.

She lowers her eyes seeing colors flowing steadily below her.
She feels the vibration when they are walking by. Her whole body
feels it. She closes her eyes but she still sees: the endless crowd.
A humming sound slowly arises from below, getting louder and
louder and louder … yes, this time she hears.

 

 

 

 

 

(a body of a young girl appears in the water, naked)
“They say she commited suicide …”
“Her body keeps silent …”
“… She doesn’t smile”
“… Somebody doubts whether it is true or not”
(Her skin … dyed blue …)
“She probably doesn’t feel pain anymore …”
“tell me those suspicious elements …”
“She doesn’t frown …”
“A 15 year-old girl …”
“… She is completely empty.”
“… no suspicious elements …”

 

 

… It’s getting louder and louder.

Dream:

She is struck by the sudden noise behind her: I turn around.
I see herappearing in the crowd looking at me, also standing in
the crowd. It’sgetting louder and louder, the humming sound
from the footsteps andthe voices. Somebody starts toshout and
a kid is crying, and somethingheavy was thrown to the ground …
People start to run around andthere arises the smoke, with
sounds of metal hitting on heavy surfaces.Now I am surrounded
by lights of flames, now come explosions … hundreds of cries
and hundreds of shouts …

Suddenly a group of people wearing white rush into the crowd.
They run directly to her and grab her away. She struggles and fights …
but the smoke is soon becoming too dense. Now around me is
complete darkness/whiteness, only the smell of someone’s burnt hair …

After (I cannot tell how long) a silence … it starts to rain.
Then it starts to turn heavy, in the end, a waterfall:
a blue waterfall shooting towards me …

In the thunderous sound of the waterfall, I hear someone say to me:
“She didn’t jump into the water and kill herself. She was murdered.”

 

 

“I know … because in my dream I met her. Her
hair was blue, her eyes were blue, her skin was also
dyed into a pale blue tone …

She told me, (I know), she just had a dream; in
her dream, she jumped into the sea. She wanted
to escape from her hometown and search for
something. Her hometown told her ‚if you leave,
don’t come back.

So she swam for a long time and finally arrived
somewhere in the middle of the water. There,
a group of people sat in a circle. She went and sat
down together with them. She found herself naked.
In the middle of the circle a fire was burning.
She told me she felt warm …”

 

 

 

Another hour and we will reach the mountain top.
Four more hours, from somewhere in the woods,
we will hear the sound of water. Tracing the sound,
we will arrive at the sea.

To memorize someone, we go to the sea. Together
with the sound of waves, we play the lute and sing.
We will stand in the waves and in the waves this time,
I will gently recall the dream of her.

Here, Listen.

 

          … … maple leaves … …

… … moon soaked in the water … …

… … on the surface of the water … …

… … half of her face hidden behind the lute … …

                           … … three, two sounds … …

… … there was affection before there was melody … …

… … sound, and sound …      … she lowered her head and played … …

… … continuously, continuously … …

… … her finger slightly pressed the strings … … slowly slid … …

… … stroked and then plucked … …

… … sudden rains … …

… … like soft words between lovers … …

… … like beads falling onto the jade plate … …

… … like birds` singing slipping under the flowers …

… … like whimpering spring water … …

                                  Now
… … no sound is higher than sound … …

All of a sudden

… … silver bottles exploding with water bursting out … …

… … clanking swords and spears … …

At the end of the music … …

… … she plucked at the centre of the lute … …

… … four strings altogether

making one sound … …

… … like tearing the silk fabric … …

           … … silent … … only … …

… … to see … … at the heart of the water … … the autumn moon … …

… … whiteness … …

 

 

 

“Dear, what did you dream last night?”

“Last night I dreamed that you slept very well;
last night I dreamed that in my room there are
many flowers …”